Updated: Oct 5, 2020
byeeee 2018 - see ya never again..
Seriously though, 2018 was one of those years where I learned 10 thousand lessons. As much as we can all say 2018 was one of the hardest years for a lot of people. Personal growth does not happen without challenges and moments where we are forced to deal with adversity. When we face adversity, when we are resilient, when we overcome the challenges, we grow.
In 2018 it felt like everyday a new lesson would slap me in the face. Pay attention to those in your circle, some of them are not your friends. Pay attention to the narcissist who is trying to create drama in your life, because he feeds off it. Pay attention to how you react in situations and around people. Pay attention to how much you are not ready and open for a new relationship etc etc.
And ya, 2018 was a year of huge changes. I got let go from a job I wasn’t good at, I finally found myself in a career I am passionate about and also happen to be really good at. I dumped everyone who was harmful to Charlie and I or no longer serving us in a positive way. I was very selective in the friendships I cultivated and nurtured. We said goodbye to Meow and our old neighbourhood.
In 2018 there were plenty of challenging moments and days, but there were also amazing days and moments where incredible long lasting memories were made. Like all the days spent at the beach, or our family trip to Miami. My trip to Spain, Charlie’s 3rd birthday, our walks through the bush with Willow. The endless street parties on our old street. Where the parents would hang out, drink sangrias and shoot the shit and the kids would run around, drive Charlies car and laugh endlessly with Willow in tow. So ya, 2018 had its really intense moments, but I’d be lying if I told you there were no good times.
After taking a trip down memory lane circa 2018, I put together a list of all the lessons I learned and had well over 20 scribbled on a sheet of paper. Soooo extra but clearly SO 2018. Obviously I’m not gonna share all of them. But I did put together the 7 I felt where most important, would be most useful for you and also the 7 that happen to be my favourite.
So without further adieu here we go!
NURTURE YOUR SOUL - Whats the first thing that came into your mind when you read that? Whatever just popped up, thats how you’re gonna nurture your soul. For me it’s all about reading great books like, the monk who sold his ferrari, The Alchemist or Journey to the Heart. Nurturing my soul also means traveling and being near the water as often as possible. I always find peace and wholeness when I’m near bodies of water. It’s like I wanna dive in and get lost in the bottom of the ocean until my body is ready to return to land (ya I’m pretty sure I was a sea creature in a past life). In 2018 I also discovered that traveling and immersing myself in different cultures feeds my soul in a way I never thought possible. I much rather invest my money in travel vs. things these days and that was not the case before.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - you listen to me. Right Meow! Do you know how many people laughed and mocked me when I told them what I wanted to do for a career. Do you know how many people criticized Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay Shetty etc etc. ALOT. But those nay sayers didn’t stop me and they sure as hell didn’t stop Arnie and Jay. Always remember you are capable of anything and everything in this life. You have the ability to create a life full of happiness, joy and abundance. If you have a passion for something that ignites a fire deep within you and you want to convert that passion into a paying career. YOU CAN AND ARE FULLY ABLE TO DO IT. Photography, drawing, dancing, astronomy, medicine…you name it, whatever it is, IT IS possible. Believe me when I tell you people will try and shut you down, their excuses, their “its too hard”, will exist. But don’t let their excuses become your short comings. NO ONE, except FOR YOU, is in control of YOUR LIFE. So believe in yourself damnit, because I may not know you, but I believe in you. You know why, because you deserve it. Because you deserve advocates, because you deserve people that will cheer you on. Never, ever let anyone take away your power. You can do it, you can do it all night long. (yes okay shut up I used an Adam Sandler movie reference and I’m not ashamed)
LOVE WHAT YOU DO - pssst, remember that passion we talked about up there in lesson #2, yea thats probably something you love doing isn’t it? That thing, that thing you love to do, DO IT. Do you know how many people work jobs they hate and complain about Every . Single . Day. You know those people, cause 100% they exist in your life too. Chances are those people have passions, they might be really talented at a lot of things and yet rather than pursue those passions, those gifts and talents they pursue the money. You know why? ‘cause it’s safe. Because fear drives them. Fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of "how will I make ends meet". And ya, we live in a capitalist society so we need money to survive but… and hold on to your undies cause I’m about to say something CRAY CRAY, what if what you love doing has the capability of generating enough money for you to not only survive and thrive in society, but also to bring you joy and happiness??!?! Don’t believe me. Here’s a quick story. I was feeling a little lost in December of 2018. I spoke to a friend of mine and she recommended I write down everything that brings me joy and happiness. So I did. Then I looked at that sheet of paper and realized I had about 10 different sources of income available by doing what I love. So while I pursue my passion for Acting and finding a way to make a living from it full time, I am also bringing in income to support my family and myself. Every job I’m currently working revolves around things I love. Maybe I’m not making 10k a month yet, but I just started this adventure 6 months ago. Holla back at me in another year or two. When there is a will, there is a way. So for the love of the Universe just love what you do, because life is too short to live in anything less than pure happiness.
WORK YOUR A$$ OFF - an obvious one right? maybe so, but it needs to be said. I wrote this one down because there were moments in 2018 when I felt I wasn’t generating as much money as I wanted or wasn’t seeing the results I wanted. Ya I wanted those things, but was I working hard enough for them? Truth, probably not. But as soon as I started hustling and consistently giving it my 110% results started coming my way. I started landing auditions and sponsored campaigns. Once I was in action, ideas, opportunities and income started flowing my way. If you’ve been following my story for a while you know I say “Manifest, Believe, Receive” and I believe that shit. From the very core of my being I believe that the Universe has our back, if we (lesson #2) believe in ourselves. But see the Universe can’t help us out if we sit on the couch all day crying and moping about our problems. We, us, you, me need to be in action doing the the very things we love in order for abundance to come our way. So ya, it means sometimes you’re gonna be up until 12:55AM working, ‘cause hard work pays off.
NEVER GIVE UP - Holy banana’s! Do you know how many times I thought in my head “maybe this was a stupid idea and I should just suck it up and go take that terrible paying job and never see Charlie and never have time for the career I’m passionate about” simply because things weren’t moving as fast as I wanted them to. Or maybe opportunities I thought where a shoe in didn’t pan out. Let me let you in on a little secret. NEVER GIVE UP. Just because something isn’t happening right now it doesn’t mean the wheels aren’t turning on the back end. Divine timing baby, everything happens at its right time. You know Phoebe Buffay from Friends, she’s played by Lisa Kudrow, go do yourself a HUGE favour and watch this video. CLICK HERE FOR THE VID. Lisa was fired from her first BIG gig on Fraser. Imagine how shitty she must have felt. Guess what though, her getting fired from Fraser was the best thing that ever happened to her because it opened her up to audition for Phoebe Buffay. And unless you’ve been living under a fucking rock you know that Friends was one of the longest standing TV shows and Lisa won an Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in her role as Phoebe. So my lovely, NEVER GIVE UP. If you work hard and believe in yourself it will happen. I promise.
COLLABORATION OVER COMPETITION - this one, this one is one of my fav’s and is directed primarily to my female friends. Women as a collective need to be supporting each other and lifting each other up. There is enough space in this world full of billions of people for all of us to succeed. I’m not gonna lie I’ve had my moments where I looked at someones success and felt a little envious but I used that energy to push myself and drive myself further in my success. More over when women support women we are changing the narrative of “women are bitchy and catty with one another”. I’ve also made so many amazing girlfriends through the Instagram community. These women have supported me however they can, some know me personally and some don't but regardless we all share one thing in common, well two things, 1. we have each others back and 2. we live by the mantra collaboration over competition.
THERE ARE NO MISTAKES JUST LEARNING LESSONS - sometimes the only way out is through and that means we have to endure situations or moments in our life that will shake us to our core. We can let those moments define us, we can let those moments tell a story of failure or as the writers of our own life we can view those moments as learning lessons and not mistakes. Here’s a perfect example: While I was on mat leave with Charlie I started a clothing line (its since gone dormant for the time being). I had no clue what I was getting myself into, I just knew I had a vision and I had to see it through. While the clothing company was on its way up, I had to make the decision to become a single mom and fear and desperation drove me to find a job rather than continuing to focus on my clothing line. Half assing my clothing line, working full time and taking care of Charlie and Willow (Meow back then too) lead me to making the decision to put the clothing line to sleep temporarily. I could view the clothing line as a failure, I am indebted because of it, I have so much merch left to sell, but instead, I view it as a learning lesson. The clothing line taught me all about the social media community, the clothing line cracked open the creativeness inside of me that had been suppressed for too long and I still believe in the clothing line and can’t wait to have it up and running again. In divine timing. See, the clothing line wasn’t a mistake, it was simply a learning lesson.
Looking back on 2018 the one word that sums it all up is GRATITUDE. Grateful I got to experience all these lessons, they have helped me grow and develop, in my career, in my life and as a person. I have definitely evolved because of 2018, thank you. But as the saying goes: ONWARD AND FORWARD! 2019 you are mine! I am so ready and open for all the amazing opportunities coming my way. And yes, I'll make sure to apply allllllll the lessons I've learned.
Would love to hear what lessons 2018 taught you, share them in the comments below.
Thats all for now.